Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Let's Practice Writing Controlling Ideas!

With your group, write a first paragraph for one of the following prompts. Be sure that this first paragraph includes a controlling idea. When you publish your first paragraph, please make sure all group members' names are included.

After you have written your paragraph, please go back to other groups' paragraphs, and comment on what they wrote.


Write an essay explaining whether or not it is important for students to learn about teamwork and to practice working together as a team. 
     OR

Write an essay explaining whether or not it is important for students to learn to become good readers.

173 comments:

  1. luis, jennifer ,wendyJanuary 24, 2012 at 7:20 AM

    What we think is that working together is important because that way you can work faster and better. That way you don't have problems working with other people or in your own or when you need help you can ask another person for help. Then you won't have any conflicts we each other ever time you see each other. Working together is important no matter where you are in school at home and even at a store.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Luis, Jennifer, and Wendy -

      The last sentence of your paragraph is very effective. It is very clear to the reader that your controlling idea is that working together is a necessary skill everywhere. I think your paragraph could be improved by taking out "What we think is that" in the first sentence.

      Delete
    2. you could also add a fan boy.

      Delete
    3. This is Revised paragraph
      Working together is important because that way you can work faster and better. That way you don't have problems working with each other people, in your own, and when you need help other people can help you knowing that your helpful to them to. Then you won't have any conflicts in you surroundings. Also you won't have any conflicts with each other, and when you see each other.Working with each other is important no matter where you are in school at home , and even at work,in at the store.

      Delete
    4. OMAR SANDOVAL tis,pedro nolascoJanuary 27, 2012 at 8:49 AM

      we agree with michael

      Delete
    5. I completely agree with Ms. Gottlieb, that last sentence is very effective. I can see that you are really learning and understanding about controlling ideas. Nice work.

      Delete
  2. CORAIMA,JOAHNA&YESSENIA.January 24, 2012 at 7:20 AM

    Johana,Coraima & Yesenia
    (Team work),- I think that team work is very important because you can have not only one idea but more than one because of your team mates.
    Its hard to work independent but when your working as a team you have to take votes because then everyone can be fighting so work together and there will always have a nice group.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. jennifer luis wendyJanuary 25, 2012 at 7:20 AM

      Coraima,Johana, Yesenia
      The work is effective. because it helps you get more smarter. That you should always do that any where you are. The controlled idea is to work together and that its hard to work independent. This skill is neccesary were ever you are. The skill is for every one

      Delete
    2. Jose B , Carlos A & Yetlanezi (:January 25, 2012 at 8:08 AM

      - Coraima , Johana & Yesenia :

      We Thing The Last Sentence Is Really Effective , But Yall Should Take Out The Fighting Part Because We Think Fighting Doesn't Really Fit The Subject .

      Delete
    3. I agree that team work gives you more than one idea. I always feel my work is better when I work with a team.

      Delete
    4. true ms.johnson working as a team is better than working by your self that what i always thought why cause that how i work.

      Delete
  3. Michael/Melissa/ period1January 24, 2012 at 7:20 AM

    Yes,I think its important because we need to know what other people think and using team work.
    We need to all work together as one team.
    Other people need to have a better understanding of what teamwork is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa , Michael
      you have a point we agree ,I know what you meant about the team work but sometimes some people don't like working in teams. Some People Like Working By Them selfs and not working they may act up so they can work alone.

      Delete
    2. oscar matias/ luis cebrianJanuary 25, 2012 at 8:20 AM

      Michael/Melissa

      this work is effective because we liked the second to last sentence. Also is very clear the reader can understand the controlling idea,and good description. Our opinion is that they can do a better introduction

      Delete
  4. Damaris,Alfa,Hector,EduardoJanuary 24, 2012 at 7:20 AM

    Yes, because if someone needs help, he/she can go to anyone and ask them for help/work. They can also help each other in class for example: We are helping each other while trying to find out whether it is or is not important for students to learn about teamwork and to practice working together as a team.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alexis & Diego 3rd periodJanuary 25, 2012 at 9:16 AM

      WE THINK THAT THE LAST SENTENCE IS VERY EFFECTIVE. I THINK YOUR PARAGRAPH CAN BE IMPROVED BY REMOVING THE FIST PART OF THE SENTENCE"YES,BECAUSE" (:

      Delete
    2. yes, what i agree but how the sentence strat

      Delete
    3. Hector ,eduardo,damaris alfaJanuary 26, 2012 at 7:23 AM

      We started whether is or is not important for kids/adults to help/work each other in a project or in a game.

      it is important if someone needs help,he/she can go to anyone and ask them for help /work .They can also help each other in class for example :we are helping each other while trying to find out whether it is not important for students to learn about teamwork and to practice working together as a team.

      Delete
  5. Elizabeth C,Selenia C,Isaac P,Andre CJanuary 24, 2012 at 7:23 AM

    In our opinion team work is good because you are working together and some times with new people. Teamwork helps you finish your work.Teamwork is also good because sometimes you have to work with people you don't like.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hector, Alfa, and DamarisJanuary 25, 2012 at 7:15 AM

      I think it is right for people to work together, help each other, and respect each other. And if there's a person you don't like, you still have to respect him/her. Teamwork is a good idea for kids, and adults to help, work, and to respect each other.

      Delete
    2. Yetlanezi R , Jose B , Carlos A .January 25, 2012 at 8:17 AM

      - Elizabeth C , Selenia C , Isaac P , Andre C :

      We Think The First Sentence Was Really Effective . But Yall Should Take Out The Part Where It Says ". . . sometimes you have to work with people you don't like. "
      Yall Could Of Said It In An Other Way (: I Think You Should Add "Faster" On The Second Sentence ' .

      Delete
    3. alexis$_$,adrian,josue,immerJanuary 25, 2012 at 12:15 PM

      they give a good example of teamwork and a good paragraph

      Delete
    4. Elizabeth C ;;D,Selenia C,Andre C,Isaac PJanuary 26, 2012 at 7:27 AM

      this is our revised paragraph."In our thoughts,working together is important because you have diffrent opinions and thoughts".In our opinion teamwork is good because you are working together and sometimes with new people. Teamwork helps you finish your work faster.

      Delete
    5. alexis$_$,immer#_#,adrian$_$January 27, 2012 at 12:19 PM

      you need to give good example like a game ore playing soccer those are good examples

      Delete
    6. I agree with Hector, Alfa, and Damaris. I especially like that sentence about having to respect someone, even if you don't like them. That is a very thoughtful statement.

      Delete
  6. uzziel,francisco,kevin,NamJanuary 24, 2012 at 7:24 AM

    Some people say that teamwork is not important,but we think that is a very important because they could pitch more idea,we could finish more faster,and you can help each other in what u don't understand.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa ; Juan ; MichaelJanuary 25, 2012 at 7:16 AM

      This Is Really True Because If You Don't Know Something You Can Get Ideas From Other People .

      Delete
    2. Alfa,Damaris,Hector,EduardoJanuary 25, 2012 at 7:20 AM

      i agree with this alot of people don't agree with teamwork but it helps alot and helps you learn more.

      Delete
    3. Elizabeth C,Selenia C,Andre C,isaac pJanuary 25, 2012 at 7:20 AM

      Uzziel,Francisco,Kevin,Nam i think you guys have controlling idea

      Delete
    4. Jose.R\erik.r/Carlos HJanuary 25, 2012 at 8:09 AM

      Well this is very true and help in the future.But you have to fix misspelled words and try to not make a run-on sentence.But every thing else is good.

      Delete
    5. Mich@el/Melissa/JuanJanuary 26, 2012 at 7:17 AM

      uzziel,francisco,kevin,Nam

      you have a point we agree ,I know what you meant about the team work but sometimes some people don't like working in teams. Some People Like Working By Them selfs and not working they may act up so they can work alone.

      Delete
    6. nam,francisco,kevin.January 26, 2012 at 7:18 AM

      Some people say that teamwork is not important,but we think that is a very important because they could pitch more ideas.We could finish faster,and you can help each other in what you don't understand. this is our revised sentences

      Delete
    7. VANESSA:JENNIFER:GRACIELA xDJanuary 26, 2012 at 1:14 PM

      true true but you also want to know how to work with others for the future

      Delete
  7. But Some Teams Dont Work Good Together Sometimes If They Even Try"^

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thats true because some people start messing up and doing stupid mistakes that's what start's making each other mad.

      Delete
    2. what is a good and important its to do the best in groups with your frends

      Delete
    3. they effective is very clear in the first sentence , but i think you need to do is support the idea and why you choose this one and then understand more about it and have a good opinion

      Delete
    4. Angelica && Mary P6January 26, 2012 at 1:06 PM

      Heres a suggestion never start a sentence of with the word "but" !

      Delete
    5. You all wrote such good points about working in a team. Sometimes even adults have a hard time working on a team. There are skills involved that one must have to be a good team member. Do you know what skills we need to work on a team?

      Delete
  8. Team Work Is A Good Thing To Do If You Want A Win A Sport Or A Game Or If You Want To Make Friend's While Doingg Somethingg You Likee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lawler,Bro this is effective it shows me that it is true, good job.You gave an example and it sounds good.

      Delete
    2. Noehly , Jovanne LawlerJanuary 26, 2012 at 8:27 AM

      This is or revised paragraph . Team work is a good thing to do if you want to win in a sport or in a game or if you want to make more friend's while

      Delete
    3. Angelica && Mary P6January 26, 2012 at 1:16 PM

      Never capotalize every letter in a sentence !

      Delete
  9. Yetlanezi. Jose B. Carlos A.January 24, 2012 at 8:18 AM

    Some People Say TeamWork Isn't Important , But We Think TeamWork Is REALLY Important Because You Can Get More Ideas From Different People And Finish Your Work Faster.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa ; Juan ; & Michael (:January 25, 2012 at 7:10 AM

      I Think This Is Effective Because Its True , You Can Get Ideas From Other Different People & You Can Finish Your Work Even Faster .

      Delete
    2. Yetlanezi, Jose, and Carlos - Your controlling idea is clear - that team work is important. You give good examples that support that idea. Your paragraph could be improved by breaking up your run on sentence and including varying sentence structures (using comma rules 2 and 3)

      Delete
    3. Yetlanezi R , Carlos A && Jose B . ^-^January 26, 2012 at 8:21 AM

      -This is our revised paragraph :

      Some people say teamwork isn't important, but we think is REALLY important.
      Teamwork is important because , you can finish your work faster , and you can get more ideas from different people .

      Delete
  10. Erik\Carlos.H\Jose.RJanuary 24, 2012 at 8:21 AM

    Question#1 No,i don't think teamwork is a good thing.The reason is cause when working together, some are left behind and don't do nothing.Until some one gives them the answers.But the ones that do know the objective they do all the work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. the controlled idea is very good cause people do get left behind thats why theres leader to help them.But our opinion is that it is good cause they get beter results and faster work and good comunication:D

      Delete
    2. you are wrong because if you tell the people in the team you will finish faster by team work they will do it to finish faster

      Delete
    3. Erik, Carlos and Jose - Your controlling idea is clear - that teamwork is not a good thing. Your paragraph could be improved by deleting the "NO, I don't think" in front of your first sentence and rewriting that sentence. You might also delete "The reason is cause" in front of your second sentence. Also, your paragraph has some fragments that can be corrected using the comma rules we've learned.

      Delete
    4. Jose.R\Erik.R\Carlos HJanuary 26, 2012 at 8:25 AM

      This is our revised paragraph
      Well i think teamwork is not a good thing.When teams work together,some are left behind.Until some one gives them the answers.But the ones that do know the objective,witch are the smart ones,do all the work.

      Delete
  11. chris.b/alejandro/ashleyJanuary 24, 2012 at 8:22 AM

    It is important to know how to read,you need reading in your life.When you get a good job and they tell you to read something thats important to the company and they need to know it your going to look crazy, you probably will loose your job so if you want grab a book a start reading i think it makes life easier.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alfa,Damaris,Hector,EduardoJanuary 25, 2012 at 7:06 AM

      Not to be Mean or anything i dont think it explaining much..

      Delete
    2. You just said that b/c thats what I told you, but i'll take it:)

      Delete
    3. No we didnt ah i guess

      Delete
    4. Chris, Alejandro, and Ashly - Your controlling idea is clear - it is important to be a good reader. Your paragraph could be improved by correcting some grammar mistakes. You have some run on sentences. In addition, your last sentence sounds like you are leaning toward being persuasive. Remember - this essay cannot be persuasive at all.

      Delete
    5. yeah but i didnt persuade them to do it i recomended it. i don't konw how to spell that by the way

      Delete
    6. Chris and Alejandro - When you tell your reader to "grab a book and start reading" it does sound persuasive. So, you will want to rewrite that in a way that doesn't sound persuasive - that isn't telling your reader to do something. You can tell the reader what YOU would do, but you cannot suggest THEY do something.

      Delete
    7. -this is our revised paragraph-

      I think reading is an important skill ,so you can succeed in life.If you don't know how to read it can mess up your future.Chris ,one of my best friends,is a good reader but does'nt like to. That can mess up what kind of job he can get or what he can be in life."Everything is reading".I would get a book and read everyday if thats going to help me.

      Delete
  12. Victoria,Glenda,EvelynJanuary 24, 2012 at 8:22 AM

    I think that team work is important because if one person doesn't get something they can ask their team mates & thats how they help each other out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melissa ; Juan ; MichaelJanuary 25, 2012 at 7:14 AM

      This Is True Because If You Don't Know Something , You Team Mate Can Help You Out

      Delete
    2. Yessenia,Coraima,Johana,PerlaJanuary 25, 2012 at 7:15 AM

      Victoria,Glenda,Evelyn We think that what yall said is right but we can do more than that not just that.

      Delete
    3. Victoria, Glenda, and Evelyn - Your controlling idea is clear - that teamwork is important. I think you could improve this paragraph by giving more reasons why teamwork is important. Deleting "I think that" before your first sentence would also make the paragraph sound better.

      Delete
    4. Victoria,Glenda,EvelynJanuary 26, 2012 at 8:23 AM

      These is our revised paragraph : Team Work is important because if one person doesn't get something they can ask their team mates & thats how they help each other out. Also working with new people is team work because, they may have good ideas/new ideas then you may have & its nice to meet new people.

      Delete
  13. Luis C. / Oscar matiasJanuary 24, 2012 at 8:23 AM

    We think is important for the students to become great readers. because its in every day life,and its helps us later on in life. Also cause every where you go u have to read something.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Luis and Oscar - Your controlling idea and supporting examples are very effective. I think your paragraph could be improved by deleting "We think" in your first sentence. Also, you might want to find a different way to begin your second sentence. I would also delete "Also cause" in the last sentence.

      Delete
    2. oscar matias/luis cebrianJanuary 26, 2012 at 8:25 AM

      This Is Our Improved Paragraph,
      Its important for the students to become great readers. Readers,get good jobs in the future.If you want a job your gonna have to read,also u become a important person in live

      Delete
  14. Noehly A, Jovanne C, Lawler JJanuary 24, 2012 at 8:24 AM

    team work is a good thing to do if you want a win a sport or game or if you want to make friends while doing something you like

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Noehly, Jovanne, and Lawler - Your controlling idea, that team work is a good thing - is clear enough. I think your paragraph could be improved by including more to support your opinion than sports and doing things you like. Remember, this is an academic essay, so you want to include something about academics. Also, punctuation and proper use of capital letters will make this paragraph more effective.

      Delete
    2. VANESSA:JENNIFER")GRACIE ")January 26, 2012 at 1:09 PM

      this is so true. i love you're thinking. but there are also more reasons.

      Delete
  15. alexia,jennifer,vanyce ;)January 24, 2012 at 9:17 AM

    we think every student will work in a group so they can ask questions if they need help.we like working together cause its fun to learn and esierr .thats wath we think;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stephanie T/Maria V/Stephanie L/Jennifer N(:January 25, 2012 at 12:20 PM

      We Are Confused On "We Think Every Student Will Work In A Group So They Can Ask Questions If They Need Help"

      Delete
    2. Alexia, Jennifer, and Vanyce -

      I think you give good examples, however, I think your paragraph could be improved by making your controlling idea clearer. In addition, you do not need to include "we think". It is more effective to just state your opinion.

      Delete
    3. Jennifer,Alexia,Vanyce ^.^January 26, 2012 at 9:16 AM

      This is our reuised paragraph .

      Every student will work in a group which is also called "Team Work".
      Team work is very important because it is to have fun,and to win something,also
      so they can ask each other questions.It is also faster to learn,and its easier.

      Delete
  16. OMAR SANDOVAL tis,pedro nolascoJanuary 24, 2012 at 9:24 AM

    team work is very important because is to have fun and to win something.team work is to have fun and to work as a team.team work is to listening to your team mates. team work is to learn about your mistakes from your team.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is good, and it shows you know about teamwork, it comes out.One thing you can do is take out the have fun because you said it twice.

      Delete
    2. Omar and Pedro - Your controllin idea is clear. Your paragraph could be improved by using proper capitalization and punctuation. Also, you can make great improvements by changing the way each sentence starts.

      Delete
    3. OMAR SANDOVAL tis, pedro nolascoJanuary 26, 2012 at 9:22 AM

      Team work is very important. So you can finish your work faster.Team work is to learn about your mistakes or others.

      Delete
  17. Leonardo cruz/Willie mendezJanuary 24, 2012 at 9:25 AM

    Team work is used in a lot of things mostly in sports if u r doing all of the work its feels like no one cares or you don't let them help

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Victoria:D,Evelyn,GlendaJanuary 25, 2012 at 8:15 AM

      Leonardo Cruz/Willie Mendez,we think that you should explain your controlling idea better,that way it sounds more clear.

      Delete
    2. Leonardo and Willie - I agree with Victoria, Evelyn, and Glenda. You give some good details, but your controlling idea isn't perfectly clear. You really want your reader to know what your opinion is on the subject. I would add a new sentence that states your controlling idea. Also, you might want to think of one more reason to include to support your opinion.

      Delete
    3. maria velazquez & april infanteJanuary 27, 2012 at 12:21 PM

      good but you need more info and a point at the end

      Delete
  18. Raquel,Vanessa,MarcoJanuary 24, 2012 at 9:25 AM

    Team work is a good thing to do when you are in a sport or working in a project to have more ideas about your topic.Team work its important cause you well help youR group and stuff they don't NOW.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. michael,juan,melissaJanuary 25, 2012 at 7:20 AM

      Yes, i think team work is an a very important thing to know,because we need to know what the proper definetion

      Delete
    2. Raquel, Vanessa, and Marco - I think your controlling idea is clear - that teamwork is good for sports and projects. Your paragraph could be improved by explaining your opinion more clearly. Also, you start both sentences the same way. Add more sentences and try to start each of them differently.

      Delete
    3. This is our revised paragraph.Team work is important because we can learn a lot of things.Also it encourages students to do their work fast and learn more about the topic.

      Delete
  19. Do you think that team work is a good thing or bad thing?
    I'm going to tell you how teamwork is good.Teamwork is because it can help you in a problem and you could help each other out in ther problems and get to know each other better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Carlos H\Erik.r\Jose.rJanuary 25, 2012 at 8:19 AM

      This is very effective,because it is true we can help each others.But you can improve by saying other things about teamwork.

      Delete
    2. Fernando and Sergio - Your controlling idea is very clear - that teamwork is a good thing. I think your paragraph could be improved by deleting the question at the beginning. I also think you could delete "I'm going to tell you how" at the beginning of the second sentence. Finally, you might want to add some more sentences to make your point clear.

      Delete
    3. Teamwork is good.For eveyone to help each other in what you are doing.It can help get to now more peope

      Delete
  20. ALEXIS & DIEGO 3RD PERIODJanuary 24, 2012 at 9:27 AM

    TEAM WORK IS A GOOD THING BECAUSE THE WORK GETS DONE FASTER AND IT ENCOURAGES THE TEAMMATES TO BECOME FRIENDS AND TO BE MORE TRUSTED WITH EACH OTHER. ANOTHER GOOD REASON TO MAKE A GOOD TEAM IS TO COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER. IF THE TEAM ARE RESPECTFUL HONEST NICE AND FAIR WITH EACH OTHER THEY WILL BE A GOOD TEAM

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. nam,uzziel,francisco,kevinJanuary 25, 2012 at 7:19 AM

      the second sentence is very effective and very true to work with people you don't know

      Delete
    2. to much capitols

      Delete
    3. Alexis and Diego - Your controlling idea is clear - that team work is good. You also give effective reasons for your opinion. I think your paragraph could be improved by changing that last sentence to something like "If students learn to work in teams and be respectful, honest, nice, and fair with teammates, they will have a more successful future." or something that supports the idea that teams are good - not that gives advice on how to have a good team. You always want all your sentences to support your controlling idea - that teamwork is a good thing.

      Delete
    4. ALEXIS GAXIOLA& DIEGO 3RD PERIODJanuary 26, 2012 at 9:12 AM

      THE REVISED VERSION
      TEAM WORK IS A GOOD THING BECAUSE THE WORK GETS DONE FASTER AND IT ENCOURAGES THE TEAMMATES TO BECOME FRIENDS AND TO BE MORE TRUSTED WITH EACH OTHER. ANOTHER GOOD REASON TO MAKE A GOOD TEAM IS TO COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER. IF STUDENTS LEARN TO WORK IN TEAMS AND BE RESPECTFUL, HONEST, NICE, AND FAIR WITH TEAMMATES, THEY WILL HAVE A MORE SUCCESSFUL FUTURE.

      Delete
    5. ALEXIS GAXIOLA& DIEGO 3RD PERIODJanuary 26, 2012 at 9:25 AM

      THE REVISED VERSION
      TEAM WORK IS A GOOD THING. THE WORK GETS DONE FASTER AND IT ENCOURAGES THE TEAMMATES TO BECOME FRIENDS. IT HELPS THEM TO BE MORE TRUSTED WITH EACH OTHER. ANOTHER GOOD REASON TO MAKE A GOOD TEAM IS TO COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER. IF STUDENTS LEARN TO WORK IN TEAMS AND BE RESPECTFUL, HONEST, NICE, AND FAIR WITH TEAMMATES, THEY WILL HAVE A MORE SUCCESSFUL FUTURE.

      Delete
  21. I think Team workk iss good because we get ideas from others as they gett from us.Alsoo becausee when we dontt know what aa wordd or something we havee personss who cann help us and do a better job together.<3!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. cynthia,leticiaa, jenniferJanuary 24, 2012 at 12:21 PM

      this is cynthiaa and leticiaa and jennifer

      Delete
    2. Jennifer,Cynthia,Leticia,AraceliJanuary 31, 2012 at 12:25 PM

      with team work we can get diff. ideas of your team mates and if you dontt get something you ask them how you do it or something like that.thats why its important to have team workk<3

      Delete
  22. TEAM WORK IS THE MOST IMPORTANT BECAUSE IF YOU WHERE PLAYING TUG-OF-WAR AND IT WAS 7 PEOPLE VS. YOU YOU WILL BE LOSING BUT IF YOU HAV E6 MORE THEN YEA YOU MITE WIN ORE MAYBE LOSE. THAT WHY TEAMWORK IS SO IMPORTANT

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. carlos,citlally,ivan aka MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWJanuary 25, 2012 at 12:16 PM

      I think you can make this better by rewritting the last sentence and only capital liesing only what needs tom be.

      Delete
    2. I would like to know how teamwork helps or doesn't help you when you are doing something academic? Does teamwork help you in the classroom? Or, only when you are playing tug of war?

      Delete
  23. citlaly,denia,carlosJanuary 24, 2012 at 12:24 PM

    It is important to work together my opinion is that working is good cause we learn new things from each other it helps us make new friends.And is a good thing to work together so when we grow up we learn to work with others together is team work

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. maria velazquez/jennnifer negrete/stephanie tobiasJanuary 27, 2012 at 12:14 PM

      i think you should add more info to it and a point in the end and some comas

      Delete
    2. super smart stephen, LL cool Joe ,tanya gilJanuary 27, 2012 at 12:18 PM

      your opinion is very clear and understanding to anyone and the reader too.And you have very great details about teamwork in the first sentences they put ''my opinion is that working is good cause '' you need quit that it will be a better controlling idea and put a conclusion and not repeat the ( is ) and not put cause.

      Delete
    3. ivan a aka MEOWWWWWWWWWWWW ivan G EMILIEJanuary 27, 2012 at 12:23 PM

      i think you are right u should work together because you work more faster and if u don t get a question you other friend knows the answer and its more fun then work alone with out nobody

      Delete
  24. Stephanie T./Maria V./Stephanie L.January 24, 2012 at 12:24 PM

    It Is Important To Be A Good Reader Because all people need to read but some don't like it some do because if you don't read you wont get a good education. The thing you need to do is use all comma rules and have some good sentences and better writing.Explaining the book using controlling idea with the authors thought or opinion and have some good ideas in the story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jennifer,cynthia,leticia,araceliJanuary 27, 2012 at 12:12 PM

      Yes this is all true Ilovee it.But what your paragraph need is thae first and middle part of it to get fixed.The first part needs a little more understanding cause i didnt understand the first part.The middle part needs to get fixed becausee what does writing sentences have to do with this.But i still liked it ill givee youu.......................aaaaaaa.................
      #9<3^.^

      Delete
    2. LL cool joe, super smart stephen ,tanyaJanuary 27, 2012 at 12:23 PM

      we agree too jennifer,cynthia,leticia,araceli.

      Delete
    3. Stephanie T maria velazquez jennifer n april iJanuary 31, 2012 at 12:28 PM

      This is our revised paragraph;Reason 1 you can get a good education Reason 2 You could Be a Good person in reading so you can teach other people.Reason 3 You can teach other people how to write good sentences.A tip is to explain your story by using comma rules and using your controling ideas.

      Delete
  25. robert,angel,sarahi,and georgeJanuary 24, 2012 at 12:26 PM

    our group's opinion is that it is good to do group work because you have your team member's to count on so you don't have to ask the teacher right away and so you you will learn how to work aournd other people

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jennifer,cynthia,leticia,araceliJanuary 27, 2012 at 12:15 PM

      Yup you need team mates to help you on anything you need.Your paragraph would do better if you had more sentences explaning more about why is it good.This paragraph was good.:)

      Delete
    2. Jennifer, Cynthia, Leticia, and Araceli - great feedback. I agree - reading is almost always more interesting when we get more details. Nice feedback to your classmates.

      Delete
    3. Jennifer,Cynthia,Leticia,AraceliJanuary 31, 2012 at 12:01 PM

      Thank you ms.johnson we all apreciate it<3:)

      Delete
    4. it may be o good book and its a right corection :D

      Delete
  26. stephen/tanya/stephine/joeJanuary 24, 2012 at 12:28 PM

    team work is a good thing because they have more ideas finish faster and help each other out on the project.And the people you don't know then you can make new freinds.And if the people are very smart the you can finish even faster.if they listen each others they can do a good idea, and respect other when a person say.

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    Replies
    1. Vanessa &amp; RaquelJanuary 25, 2012 at 9:17 AM

      The last sentence of your paragraph is very effective.It is very clear to reader that your controlling idea is that working and having respect to each other.I think your paragraph could be improved by talking out as a group.

      Delete
    2. robert,george,angel,and sahiraJanuary 25, 2012 at 12:21 PM

      i THINN THAT IT WAS A REALLY GOOD CONtroling idea

      Delete
    3. Stephen, Tanya, Stephanie, and Joe,
      I am curious, do you think it is always better to finish faster? I like the part about making new friends and respecting what someone else says.

      Delete
  27. Yes ms.Gottlieb it is very important to show students what teamwork is and how it functions,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMAR SANDOVAL tis,pedroJanuary 25, 2012 at 9:11 AM

      you should put more information about team work
      so we can learn what is teamwork

      Delete
    2. Jonathan H./Gustavo D.January 26, 2012 at 1:15 PM

      thats cool for her to show us respect and teamwork

      Delete
    3. Lexie :D, Silvia(:January 26, 2012 at 1:15 PM

      We know it is important but you should give examples of how it is important and how it affects you.

      Delete
    4. Fine Omar you want information you will get info teamwork means to work with other people to do an activity that someone cannot do by themselves.teamwork is needed everywhere its like saying you can carry 10000000000 pencils all by your self well you will need more people to help you out Omar.Or like playing jeopardy you need to be in groups because if you don't know a question you will need a person that knows the the answer to explain why that is or why that is not the answer.Remember when Andrea,Pablo and me beat all of you at jeopardy we discussed what the answer was and why. That is what teamwork means to me.

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    5. YES he is he makes me laugh wheres your sense of humor }:(

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    6. Guadalupe - you really elaborated when Omar asked you about more information. Even though you sounded a little mad, it certainly made your essay a lot more interesting to read all the details. I especially liked the part about you winning at Jeopardy because you used teamwork!

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    7. Thanks ms.Johnson yes I was a little frustrated thats all.

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    8. No worries, your elaboration was really great.

      Delete
  28. i think that it is important to learn how to work with others because as you grow up you will have to work with people you dont know or like but will have to accept them

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    Replies
    1. jennifer,alexia,vanyceJanuary 25, 2012 at 9:18 AM

      we like the post that you put really good and and yea you learn more with friends by helping you its really effective.you can improve that by swowing others wath you got ;)

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    2. lol gracias gracias thanks for the tips

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    3. Lexie :D &amp; Silvia(:January 27, 2012 at 1:16 PM

      We like your post and know where your getting at but there is also more reasons you could of listed to help people understand more what working with others helps them by.

      Delete
    4. Wow, Graciela - you sure are corrrect about that! There have been times when I have had to work with people I am not crazy about. But, I have found that those people have lots of great stuff to contribute anyway!!

      Delete
  29. Willie m. LeonardoJanuary 25, 2012 at 9:15 AM

    it is important for people to work together because if you don't people will think your a bad person

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    Replies
    1. Jennifer^.^,Cynthiaa^.*,Letty^.*,araceli^.^January 25, 2012 at 12:16 PM

      if you dont work with others then they would think your a bad friendd<3:(

      Delete
    2. Lexie :D, Silvia(:January 26, 2012 at 1:10 PM

      We understand that if you dont work with others it affects what people think about you but there is other things that it can affect you by for example if you dont work with others you dont learn as much because everybody has different ideas that you can learn from.

      Delete
    3. Lexie and Silvia - awesome feedback. I agree with you, we certainly don't learn as much when we work on our own, as when we work with a team. I am always amazed at what amazing things teams can accomplish!

      Delete
  30. I'm reading diary of the wimpy kid Greg signed in for wrestling to learned how to defend his self
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Jeremy Salazar Maria FigueroaJanuary 26, 2012 at 7:14 AM

    I think working with others is important because you will be woking with others all the time and it help other that they don't understand what they saying and they will understand two they will learn more and if they don't now sum you now yo tell them

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    Replies
    1. Jeremy and Maria - Your controlling idea is very clear: that it is important to learn to work in teams because that is a skill you will need all the time. I think your paragraph could be imporoved by correcting the run on sentence.

      Delete
  32. We think team work is the best answer.Their are better results. And more communication between people.Also you could do more things that u cant do by yourself.As A TEAM!!!

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    Replies
    1. Carlos,Cetlaly,DeniaJanuary 27, 2012 at 12:15 PM

      I like your ending it rely profs that you'r opinion is working together,but you need to work on your begging it's to short and you need to make it more of a introduction not like ending.

      Delete
  33. Lexie :D &amp; Silvia(:January 27, 2012 at 1:09 PM

    It is important to work with others because it is what you are going to do when you get older and it is better to be prepared than to be just getting started when you had the time when you were young. It is also important because when you work with others you learn more because everybody has different ideas that you can learn from just like people can learn from you.

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    Replies
    1. I really like all of your response. You are correct about it is what you will do when you get older. There is really never a day that goes by when I don't work with someone. I like your thinking.

      Delete
    2. Lexie and Silvia - Your reasons are very clear for why you think teamwork is a good thing. I think your paragraph could be improved by making your controlling idea its very own sentence. Right now it is combined with your reasons. Why don't you try it on it's own? Your controlling idea is your main idea and opinion. We want to make sure it stands out.

      Delete
    3. Lexie :D &amp; Silvia(:January 31, 2012 at 1:22 PM

      This is our revised paragraph:

      It is important to work with others. It is important because it is what you are going to have to be prepared for when you get older. It is also important because when you work with others you learn more by listening to the other things people have to say to get ideas from them and learn from them just like others do the same from you.

      Delete
  34. Pedro Pablo VillaresJanuary 27, 2012 at 1:15 PM

    Sometimes it's better working in a group because in a sport they need team work knowing what to do and when to do it like in soccer you need help to go to the other side of the filed and score in a project you may do the work by your self because you know what to do and what the idea so it's sometimes be better work together

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    Replies
    1. I like how you compared working in a team in class to playing on a team. That is an accurate comparison. I can tell you really understand teamwork.

      Delete
    2. Pedro - Your controlling idea is clear - that sometimes, depending on the objective, it is better to work in teams. I think your paragraph could be improved by using some punctuation to separate ideas. You want at least three sentences - one for your controlling idea, one for your first reason, and one for your second reason. Give that a try! :-)

      Delete
  35. jonathan hernandezJanuary 27, 2012 at 1:17 PM

    Its cool to learn how together why? Heres why you're never going to do something almost for everything you do you need help from some body yeah thats why ha i know some people don't like working with other.Why?Because other try but then come out in problems yeah.when i was little i didn't like it but guess what know i see why is important to do teamwork

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    Replies
    1. Jonathan - Your controlling idea is definitely clear - that it is cool to work in teams. I also like, at the end, how you added a bit from your life. I think your paragraph would be improved by removing the "why?" and the "yeah". That might make the paragaph sound more scholarly.

      Delete
    2. jonathan hernandezJanuary 31, 2012 at 1:12 PM

      Thanks Ms.Gottlieb for your help i'll make sure to fix it.

      Delete
  36. teamwork is important because is all about working together.If you don't know something you cold ask your partner.And because if you work together you cold reach more goals.

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    Replies
    1. Gustavo - Your controlling idea and your two reasons are very clear. I like that a lot. Your paragraph could be improved by taking out the "and" in the third sentence. In addition, some corrections in spelling might help. :-)

      Delete
    2. Thanks Ms.Gottlieb you help me a lot i will fix my errors!!!

      Delete
    3. Teamwork is important because is all about working together.If you don't know something
      you cold ask your partenr.Because if you work together you cold reach more goal.

      Delete
  37. Leonardo Daniel GarciaJanuary 27, 2012 at 1:20 PM

    I think it is a great idea for students to read.Because it helps us to build up reading skills and expirence new things that we have not.Makes us smarter not only in language arts class but anywhere we go in our lifes our skills that we learned during reading books.It is important to become good readers for exaple sometimes the teachers will call you out to read a paragraph.Theres times when you can not pronounce some words and with our reading skills you can remember how to say the word. :reply

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leonardo - All the detain in your paragraph is great. I think your paragraph could be improved by focusing your paragraph a little more. Remember that, in this first paragraph, all you have to include is your controlling idea and your two reasons. Examples and descriptions should be used in the body of the essay. We want to keep this first paragraph short. Give that a try!!

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  38. Angelica &amp;&amp; Mary P6January 27, 2012 at 5:34 PM

    Yes,its important for students to become great readers ! Because they should be able to read a book with out missing any words while saying. Teachers may also help students read a word that they dont't understand. All students have a oppertunity to become great readers. Kids that become great readers, feel smart and cofident. Are more likely toenjoy school and can follow their imagination curiosity wherever it takes them.

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    Replies
    1. This is an excellent comment about Kids that become great readers feel smart and confident. I believe that is so true. I love the sentence about imagination and curiosity!

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    2. Angelica and Mary - Your controlling idea is very clear - that students need to learn to be good readers. I think your paragraph could be improved by removing "yes" in the first sentence (your controlling idea tells us your response to the question) and removing the "because" in the second sentence. I absolutely love your last two sentences, and I think that those would be GREAT conclusion sentences!!

      Delete
    3. Angelica &amp;&amp; Mary P6January 31, 2012 at 1:19 PM

      This is our revised paragraph:
      It's important for student to become grate readers ! They should be able to read a book without missing any words while reading. Teachers may also help students read a that they don't understand. All students have a opportunity to become great readers. Kids that become great readers, feel smart and confident. Are more likely to enjoy school and can follow their imagination curiosity wherever it takes them.

      Delete
  39. Leonardo Daniel GarciaJanuary 30, 2012 at 12:59 PM

    The book I am reading is called CUTS it is about a girl who got sent to a center for physical treatment.She cuts her self because she her mom died and she is trying to figure out how she died.Her dad is a very alchoholic person and rearly gives her daughter time to spend with.She cuts her self because she sees the blood run through her hand and has thoughts about her mother.Her father only visits her each week end.IF YOU LIKE BOOKS WITH FEELINGS YOU SHOULD READ THIS BOOK I REALLY RECOMMEND IT!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Carlos,Heriberto,Denia,Cetlaly,IvanJanuary 31, 2012 at 12:17 PM

    This is our revised paragraph

    I think that working together is inportant you meat new people you trust theme and their honesty.My first opinion is that you meat theme and their your new friends.My secound is that you trust theme to be your friends and honesty.Those are my opinions.

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    Replies
    1. very good you should tell us more and there was a few misspelling .

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    2. yeah good just make sure to fix your spelling thats all but everything else is good

      Delete
  41. Hey i read in the internet yesterday why is it important to work in a group or with other people cause if you never work in a group or with people you might turn out making bad choices

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  42. Jennifer.H,, Guadalupe V.January 31, 2012 at 1:24 PM

    We think that every one should know how to read because if you don't know how to read you are going to have a hard life because you will struggle reading instructions, Also because if the teacher ask you to read outloud for every one and u dont know than its bad cuz you well inberes yourself

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  43. working together is good because when u need help u can just ask your partner for help. I do think its importent but it could be bad. Like for example u might not have good co-workers .

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